put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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