# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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