she takes plan B like it's going out of style
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
