just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
