Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
