scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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