If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
