How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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