No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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