You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
