idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
