Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
