Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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