i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i out mim tonsoeep
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