fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
