I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
