There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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