she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
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