hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
