you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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