did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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