how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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