i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
