My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
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