Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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