Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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