That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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