Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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