would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
