his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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