Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
