Umm I'm too high to move.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
