She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
