God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
