she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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