I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
