I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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