I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
