Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
