If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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