Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
