remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
false alarm, still single
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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