if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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