hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
