First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
