Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
