would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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