I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
