He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
