let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
