Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize