I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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