Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize