party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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