fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
