I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
