Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
