She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
