We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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