Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i now understand why vodka
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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