Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
