gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
